She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
