Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think your dad took our porno
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
