Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
