i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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