i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
