Tell her she can't have a vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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