dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
