that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
