porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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