margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
