it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
