Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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