Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
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Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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