i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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