He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
