Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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