I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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