That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize