Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
