she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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