he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
