tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
