At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I did not marry a roomba.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
