She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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