i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
