dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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