You smell like stripper and shame
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize