"it" just moved
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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