There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
