Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
