Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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