Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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