You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
