I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
