Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
