Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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