Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
