You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My cat gives me a boner
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
