I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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