i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
