I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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