There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
