Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
