that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
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i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
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First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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