We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have tasted many bathrooms
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