i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
did i just pee glitter
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
