Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
