what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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