Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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