I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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