Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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