Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
