If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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