I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
