i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
