he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
