i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I deserve this hangover.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
