why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
