I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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