i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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