walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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