Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
